PeaceRider lives!!!!!

Im alive:]

Wow its been a long time. lol

Im still doing good all tho my 2 year of highschool is not the best in the world.

But its been ok.....i guess. Precious and Hope are still the same as always. Fun and BoyCrazy lol.

Just wanted to say were all still here its just been a little hard on us.

All my love,

  Destany PeaceRider♥

Erica Hope #9

Dear Bloggers...

Summers Over, like officially...

School is in three days...

i should be excited right? im kinda wishy washy... i was dreading it soo bad then i was okay about it and now i kinda just wanna say fuck it and drop out...

life has been sooooo rough this summer,

my mom told me to move out and live with logan and that would have been perfect if he didnt dump me 2 days before our 11th month anniversary.. and i might have been okay with that if i didnt stay the night with him secretly... because now i.... just miss being in his arms.. i miss him kissing me on the forehead everytime he woke up in the middle of the night... i dont understand how you can say things like i never wanna lose you or things like i love you and im never gonna leave you baby because i couldnt imagine waking up without you.... and then leave... i just dont get it... :*( i never even had the chance to cry because ive had to be a happy little fucker for my whole family... i just wanna bawl like a baby and have someone care that im crying... i guess that sounds kinda selfish.. i just cant help it. im sick of being sad and nobody caring.. im sick of being let down and hurt, and mostly im sick of being the only person i really have in life... :(

and when i finally try to talk to my mom like seriously about how i feel, she laughs and says im being dramatic... she doesnt take me seriously... well i think im gonna tell you the break up story... BRACE YOURSELFS>

so i went to the movies to meet him and at first i could tell something was wrong... he wouldnt look at me, he wouldnt kiss me,... he wouldnt even hold my hand... well he got up and went to smoke with his cousin and my brother walks over and hugs me... i just start crying on his shoulder.. and blabbing something about what did i do? or something.. and michael just said its okay erica everything will work out i promise.. so i go to the bathroom to wipe my eyes in case he comes back really soon. and i come in and sit down and john (logans brother) asks if im okay or if i wanna go home. and i said that i was fine and apologized for showing up because i didnt want john to feel left out..

logan come back and i finally get him to act normal.. he holds my hand, even kisses me a few times.. i felt soo happy, on top of the world.. i text him and said is something wrong? and i noticed my named changed in his phone from ErIcA<3 =] to Erica... just plain old erica... he wrote back and said no why? and i said just wondering...

well then the movie ends and we are goofing off outside... just playing around, everything was perfect. amazing. =) i was happy...

but then they had to take me home.. so in the car he held my hands.. (something we always did) and when i got out of the car we kissed and laughed like we always did.... joked around... he told me he loved me and that he had to get

 my brother home.. and i said i love you too... when they pulled out he screamed "i love you erica hope! forever and always..."

i smiled and went to my room.. i ended up going with tiffany and coming home at like 2:30 i txt him and said:: goodnight babe i love you im going to bed..

so his response was the usual:

I love you too. goodnight...

but i woke up at five and had a message from earlier that night... it said:

Erica, i love you... i just cant do this anymore.. i feel like im leading you on. and we both know its not gonna work with me going to a different school... im sorry.

i sat staring at my phone screen for what seemed like 2 minutes but in all reality it had been 20 minutes and thinkin back on it now i dont even remember breathing... the first thought through my head was... end it.. just kill myself and let all this pain subside.. just kill yourself... he doesnt care, so why should you?
but i took a few minutes and went outside to watch the sunrise... i cried for about 5 minutes then sucked it up and told myself i didnt have time to be sad... i had to be happy for my family... so i took off jogging listening to christian music and found an amazing scripture that fit my day just perfectly.... i knew at that moment god was speaking to me... he was using a silly little calender on my grandmothers kitchen table to bring me back to reality... and it worked i had never been so close to god.. but even today im finding that the farther i get from god, the more pain im feeling.. and its really starting to mess with me...

g2g

As Always

Lotsa Love<3

Peace, Love, & Erica

Destany PeaceRider♥ #5

Well hello people of earth,

Uranus,and mars.

I'm back after almost all of my summer is over:[

But its been fun.

So I'm going to the beach in 30 mins,

its 2:22 am and I'm try in to stay up with my cuz

so we can hit the road.

Well all I've done this summer is sleep,watch movies

hang with Precious, read fan fiction and write:]

All in all a very nice summer:]

Oh and lets not forget clean this whole damn house bc I'm the only one who can:\

Good news i got a boyfriend:] and hes really good to me

I'm so tired, I'm gonna sleep all the way to the beach.

♥♥
Well Precious hasn't done anything too crazy yet:]

Well we did walk through walmart eatin potato wedges:]

OMG WERE DOIN A HARRY POTTER

COSPLAY AND ITS GONNA

KICK ASS:]

well its about time to go so

Peace

love,

Destany PeaceRider♥

Erica Hope #9

Well today is the birthday. . . .and now im at dereks we were swimming but it rained so we are all going skating tomorow. happy birthday to me!!!

Erica Hope #8

Well Bloggers,
Today should be fun. I'm going to the carnival with my ex's
cousin... Yeah, I know, I'm asking for it. Everything that I say will be held against me and used in the court of law lol or their next conversation...last night I was almost in tears and I don't think he really cares anymore... If he did he'd just ask me back out. And he's not gonna so I have no other choice but to be done right? WRONG! I don't want to be done I want him to want me again!!! But idk, I'm going to hang out with him next week, and in a couple of weeks Trevor wants me to go on a date with him.... But idk. Anyway I'm gonna go hang out with my brother so until next time,
as always,
Lotsa Love,
Peace, Love, and Erica

Erica Hope#7

Dear Bloggers,
I've been really really busy! Sorry I haven't wrote in forever. I was at the beach, than I went camping. It's been crazy. But i told Logan I was done With him, then I was gonna apologize and take it all back and I found out that he was talkig to his ex who he called a whore the whole time he was talking to me! So I didn't take it back but I did txt him and now I guess we are just friends. It's gonna be really hard to be his friend. But that wat I'm gonna have to do. I still have to see him and give him the tattoo I drew for him so in just praying he doesn't bat his eyelashes and expect me to get weak at the knees. Cause It ain't gonna happen. But I was gonna date Tyler when me and Logan broke up, but I was too late because now he's dating Shyanna. >=p blech! She's a goat whore! And then when. Get back I find out that precious and destany are both having mental break downs! I was not happy!!! I'm ready to kill people and then jump off a cliff. And I'm soooo sick of people saying I'm sorry bout Logan!!! My response will ALWAYS be, it's okay I'll smile through it all. Because that's what I always do! I'm the strong tower for all my friends so I have to always be happy. That's just how it goes. And that's how it's always been because I've ha to keep my family together. When you've been through everything I've been through you have no choice but to smile and just liv with it. You probably wouldn't beleieve it but Iv had it pretty rough. I'm not going into details because I don't wanna cry today lol. But for precious, if your reading this, don't let your family get to you, take the punishments like a big girl and don't pout around because that always makes it worse. Smile and act like it doesn't bother you. It'll drive your family nuts! And destany, if your new boyfriend really is all that and a bag of potatoe chips then congratulations I'm happy for you. But I swear if he hurts you again I'll football tackle his happy ass. Lol without looking back. You guys are my life. You and precious can come to me for anything I hope you know that.
As always,
peace, love, & Erica<3

Precious Prize

Hey guys its Precious again...

I am kinda pissed and upset right now.

And dont really have anyone to talk to about this...

Well for starts my whole family is freaing stupid.

Not one person acts like I am anything important. Expect for my step papaw.

I complete and totally fuckin hate my life and everything about it expect the few friends I have.

And now that is summer I am gonna be stuck with them till school starts back.

Everyone would be so much more happier if I just was never born.

I love my family and stuff but they drive me crazy! And some of them are just about to push me over the end of hate. I just really can't take much more.

I am just so sick and tired of everyone.

I cant remember the last time I've been happy at home or at my freakin dads mom and dad...

They every last one drive me fuckin insane.

I am never good enough,I'll never be good enough,and everything I do it wrong.

Theres no point in even trying anymore.

They get mad becuz "I am hateful" with them. But maybe they should look around and see why...

I mean if they wasnt 24 7 on my back about every single thing it would be diffenrent.

And what kills me with my mamaw and papaw is that you see my brother Marty,

His the best thing thats happened to them since my dad. Nothing Marty can do is wrong.

He calls me names and does what ever he wants when his here and they dont ever bat a eye.

He could muder someone and they would say "Oh baby its ok you didnt do anything wrong."

And what else kills me is there so judgemental both of them!

All my mamaw does is talk about people becuz made there a little different or a different color (which is so freain retarded I could scream!)

All my mamaw does is try to make me feel bad about myself and just feel bad in general.

I just I have so many feeling that I have to carry around.

I mean even if it aint my fault she tries to make me feel like it is.

Everytime I come over her she cries in front of me and tries to make me feel bad.

I am really sick of it all... And I just dont wanna do it anymore...

"Right now I wanted really care if a rapist stole me away" -Destany PeaceRider.

The only people I can even talk to and remotly understand is the people thats met my family from hell.

Things used to be so perfect and wonderful. And now everythings went to pure shit. Sometimes I wonder if the problem really is me...

I just I dont wanna fail back into the depression I was in a about a year or two ago.

I was finally happy and now I feel like none of that matters.

I know I've made me share of mistakes but your not susposed to dwell on them, Your susposed to move on  and forget about it. But My mom and her boyfriend will never let anything go.

And I mean I got in trouble about 3 weeks ago for the same reason I got in trouble a year ago.

I was talking to people on the internet that I didnt know in person. And I mean I know sometimes that can be dangerous. But I am very careful and I know what not to say and when somethings not right with a person.

But they all act like I am still 3 years old.

They just need to understand that I am 15, 3 more years and I'll be a legal adult.

And the day I turn 18 I doubt I'll ever come back to this Hell town.

People thinks its hard growing up in big cities...They should try living in a small town were everyone knows you and everything about you. And you can never have a good job or get away from your damn family without moving far far far away from here.

And thats what I think is best for me. To move far away.

I am just tried of trading my happiness for theres.

I dont want to knock myself out of a good life and I dont want to end up doing something majorly stupid but if things dont change I might end up having to.

Me and Destany talk about how her mom is gonna adopt me and I'll be Precious PeaceRider...

And I just really hope it turns out that way...But dreams are for sleeping not reality.

I just wish things were different.

I feel like my life is never gonna be how I expected it to be.

But then again things never are what they seem.

Everytime I get happy something happens to were I am sad again.

Just like how I am mostly only happy when I with my step papaw,Homer or at Destany's house.

But since the whole internet thing ( which I am not susposed to be on the computer right now or the phone...)

I aint aloud to go to Destany's for a while becuz I called the person I was talking to on her cell phone and becuz I talked to him on her computer...

But her house is not the only house I talked to him at so really it's not fair.

I dont think I am still grounded off the whole internet chaos, but more so the fact that I bought a TracFone so I could talk to the boy. You see I really cared about him.

And he made me very happy becuz he listened to all my problems and cared for me back...

I even tried to explain that to my mom but she made me stop talking to him and toke my tracfone when she found out through one of my other friends phone bill.

It's just like I so sick of everything being took from be and only giving sadness...

I hope this isnt what my whole life is gonna be like...

But guys I have to go to that damn pinic...alone thanks to my mamaw Felicia cant go now becuz mamaw made a sence in the yard and made Felicia's mom take her home and probably got her in trouble and her mad at me... But thats the way things always end up in my life. So it's nothing new.

I really dont wanna go to this damn thing...I wish I was with Destany or Erica having fun like yesterday and not having to deal with all this stupid problems and stressfulness shit.

But I have to go before my mamaw nags at me and starts crying cuz I looked at her wrong or some stupid shit like that. So Goodbye for now. =[ Bye guys

Love ya,

~Precious~

P.S. Hey Destany if you read this call me on my mamaws cell phone PLEASE! I am about to die here ever since we had to get off the phone a second ago...=[ I love you.

Precious

Hey it's Precious again...

I just wanted to put up a few pics from school on here.

And tell yal that we now have a Photobucket account.

We dont have many pics but the infomation to our account is at the very bottom of the page.

So heres a few pics.

Precious Prize

Hey it's Precious!

SUMMERS HERE!

Well I am at my mamaws bored to death.

Hopefully going to the Zoo Saturday and staying with Destany Monday and Tuesday.

Getting ready to go run around.

Going to the park and boatin and swimming in the pond!!!

Felicia is susposed to be down the park ;)

Hope I have fun!

Got my dress for graduation, Purple.

Well got to eat and get ready for the baseball thingy!

Love ya,

~Precious~

Destany PeaceRider♥ #4

 Ok...so I'm in bed right now and its 1:11am

and i just got done watching the LAST episode of

my anime. NO MORE, DONE!

And I'm wanting to cry, wait i am crying:[

And when people read this their going to be like

"why would you cry over something like anime

its not real." Well anime has been their for me when i had

no one. I was in the 6th grade and my parents split up and i went into

bad depression. Then one night I was flipping through the TV

channels and I stumbled on to adult swim.

It was about 2 something in the morning and I started to watch

the show that was on. It turned out to be Inuyasha:]

I started to watch it every night and I started to forget about some of my

sadness.

Even tho it was still their I felt better, I was happier and didn't cry as much.

So anime is like a comfort for me, and at school I can't say much about it

because when I do some say(and some people HAVE told me this

before) "Its just a show,I don't know why you even watch it,or

that's stupid Destany." It makes me so mad

that people can say that about my feelings because

whether they like it or not

anime is my favorite thing and on most days the

only thing I look forward to. I'm pretty sure that it being all i have is the only reason

that Hope and Precious let me carry on about. I'm about to

cry writing this. I don't have that many friends,and  most of the time I'm

alone.

So anyway I'm still waiting on the dubbed version so that's

good. I'm glad to get that off my chest I fell kinda relieved.



Love,
Destany PeaceRider

Erica Hope #6

Dear Bloggers,

i am chilling with my cousin and best friend amber! i love her.

i have to call logan later... someone told me he was cheating on me like the whole time we were dating (8 months) on and off. . .

i really hope not... my other friend alisha told me that she has known logan all her life and he has NEVER been a cheater. so im praying shes right cuz she would never lie to me. I REALLY love him!!! more than anything in this world. i dont wanna be without him. hes the best thing thats ever happened to me. . . and i just dont know... i really wish destany would help me but shes having her own boy problems too and i just cant bring myself to complain to amber about it. because none of my friends like him and theyd just say leave him alone because hes a loser... but i know hes not!! hes sooo much like me... i just dont know... so im writing this blog with tears almost streaming down my face because everything is going wrong! EVERYTHING! maybe a vacation is what i need. . . and now i found out that i only have a 74 in algebra II so im probably not getting my cell phone back and its been gone for 11 weeks... and logans getting sick of me not having a cell and i dont blame him but i tried soooo hard to pass that class and my parents think i didnt do anything. . . i dont know what to do... i am probably gonna end up crying my eyes out all night... whenever ambers parents go to sleep..

<3 Lotsa Love,

Peace, Love, And Erica.

Erica Hope #5

Dear Bloggers,

Destany has just informed me that i am a bully,

Is this statement true???

I Really wanna know what you guys think..

<3 Lotsa Love,

Peace, Love, And Erica =)

AWESOME WEBSITE!!!

Check out http://www.thisissand.com/ its amazing!!! when you get to it press c and then pick a color and click away! =) build a beautiful picture!!!


As Always,
<3 Lotsa Love
Peace, Love And Erica. =)

Babynamegenie.com

 Omg look at this website its so fun! babynamegenie.com!!!



                                         ~Destany and Precious~

Precious Prize

Hey it's Precious...

I dont really feel like writing today...I am not going to write much.

Well Friday I have to go to graduation,Saturday the park pool opens,and Sunday Kayla's freaking hot cuzin is coming down. So if my mom dont get in the way I am gonna have a pretty cool weekend/summer party!!! Oh yeah and I am going swimming Friday if I dont stay on night with Kayla.

But thats all I am gonna write for now. So byez!

Love ya!

~Precious~

Destany PeaceRider♥ #3

Heller:]

Oh how I love the smell of computers in the morning.

Life sucks, last night I got yelled at because I don't do

anything but sit on my a** on my laptop which is bull. I do everything

at my house. Just ask Hope or Precious! Any who long story short I'm upset.

Is it weird that I'm not allowed to go to my bedroom until I want to go to sleep. I mean I'm not allowed to go sit in there??????

Its the last day of school:[

Well currently I'm planing how to kill my parents. (lol jk)

Sitting in between Hope and Precious who are writing also.

And reading Hopes stories. I love her stories their

great.

The one I'm reading right now is my favorite.

I don't have much to day. Did you know Tom Felton (Draco) can sing??

I'm listing to him right now.

which is helping my mood. Maybe ill read some fan fiction later

it helps alot.

So yesterday I went to my aunt's. It was fun, we always have fun.

We watched the messengers and omg that movie

is scary.Well not much going on this morning.

I plan on going home today doing a boat load of chores, then maybe I'll get to do what i

want to do. I doubt it. Hmm, Hope and Precious are going to

make me look stupid because I can't write as much as they can.

I don't have an exciting life. The highlight of my week is getting to watch my anime.

What I Think Of Hope

Hope, whats their to say about you.Well Your crazy,funny,smart,

creative the list goes on and on.

Your my Mimi Force, Izzy Lightwood, my Aphrodite.

Your always their.

What I Think  About Precious

You nerd. Your kind, funny,retarded and also crazy.

Your my Zoey Redbird, Vamp Nugget, my Anime Buddy.

You never leave. :]

Well Thats about it for today unless something comes up!

Love,

Destany PeaceRider♥

Erica Hope #4

Im Writing in red because red is.... passionate, and inspiring... and god knows, i need some inspiration...

My stories have suffered severely lately and so has destany because she is a dedicated follower. And Precious will be soon enough.. (she wont even know what hit her) lol

Man yesterday was crazy i had to mow some crazy old dead ladys yard because i got in trouble. . . the house is falling apart and really creepy. my dad* bought it and i wanna keep it and restore it but dad wants to tear it down. . . =( its way to pretty to get torn down. i told him he at least couldnt tear it down til i drew it.

*if i say dad its most likely gonna be my step dad.

I Am an exceptional artist. . i mean i dont suck but i kinda have it in my blood because my aunt is an AMAZING artist. in fact she teaches it at our school. . which is where i am currently at. Sitting next to my closest besties. Destany, Precious, Hali, And Stacie. They Are AMAZING. I have some stuff on my mind so i figured id share it with you "followers" lol (Sabby) If your mother is bipolar DO NOT piss her offf. it doesnt end well... lol she'll make you mow some old dead crazy lady's yard....not. that. i. ever. have. lol

I started a seperate blog for my stories as did destany but hers is about her life. (check em out!)

lol. Im still really confused about my men... lol I talked to logan last night. we chatted about us not being able to see each other. . i said it was my fault and in all honestly that is true... But i hate admitting it. i dont know if we are gonna get back together... i doubt it. we've been "together" for 8 months. . thats a pretty long time if you ask me. but i love him sooo much.. idk what id do without him. i really feel like bawling my eyes out everytime i think about not being able to be with him... i just feel like i need him. and i dont think he understands that. . . he told me yesterday he was going to the lake with some girl over summer... and i just went crazy.. idk why it bugs me so bad, i just feel like he doesnt love me as much as i love him... idk. . . im almost ready to give up.

IN OTHER NEWS:

i woke up sooo sick this morning... i feel like i might just explode any minute.. i really dont wanna be here but this is the last full day of school. . . and i wanna spend it with my best friends. and having a blast. and thats what i intend to do because life is going by WAY  too fast....

As Always,

<3 Lotsa Love

Peace, Love, And Erica. =)

Erica Hope #3

*Extreme Dramatic Sigh*

I Just Dont know what to do....

i dont know if im allowed to write two blogs in one day but im gonna =p

i just had a TRAGEDY happen. Me and my friend were playing suck and blow (the game where you pass a credit card with your mouth by sucking and blowing.) and it fell and we kissed. kinda lol in the middle of english.. lol its not really a tragedy cuz it doesnt bother me actually. lol but im just thanking god that its the end of the year and there was only like three people in the room to see. lol ive got a big smile on my face because this guy i think is cute,  saw it and im pretty sure he found it attractive lol. haha. what guy wouldnt? lol.

anyway.. im kinda bored. . . today kinda sucks a lil. i was in lunch and brent bumped into me and knocked my food off my tray and then i went to go get a new sandwhich and the lunch room ran out of food. =(

it kinda upset me, lol.

you know your life sucks when:

1. someone loves you but they dont wanna date?

2. you get upset over stupid things (like food)

3. you cant stand half your best friends lol

4. your mom and dad call you fat

5. you cry when your parents yell at you cause your just tired

6. you say "please dont be insert-boy-you-love's-name-here " Everytime the phone rings.
Sounds bad dont it?
well gotta go
<3 Lotsa Love
Peace, Love, And Erica

Destany PeaceRider♥ #2

Heller:]

Hey party people,

not much going on today except for random

singing,playing darts in the hall way,and dancing.

Today's my last day of school. (I wanna cry)

I pray my summer is as fun as my school year was!!!!

 Hopes having boy troubles AGAIN! I try to help as much as I can

but sometimes I feel like i didn't do enough. Do you know what I mean????

I love her to death but sometimes we butt heads!

Like today in lunch she jumped across the booth to punch me because I said Draco was mine.

But we've had so much fun I can't even remember most of it.

Shes the one who got me to write. (Which I'm very pleased

       that I just got done with page 58 of my story)

Sabby and Precious made me sing all last period.

(O-well)

Hummmmm what else is their to talk about???

Oh, is it weird to name your computer??

Because I did and now some people are making fun of me for it.

His name is Yuri:]

♥But any who I better get going.♥

Love,

Destany PeaceRider♥

Ericas Apology

This Is My Apology...(Obviously)

Destany:

Im So So So Sorry for starting all those fights a while back. You didnt deserve to be yelled at... it just seemed like i was going through all of this and you didnt care anymore... and i know thats not true but thats how it felt... and i felt kinda lost, left and a lil betrayed... but i know that i have no reason to feel that way... i love you soo much! im sooo sorry. Please forgive me.

Precious:

Im A horrible person... i didnt give you a chance.. i just kinda hated you for taking destany from me and i know now that you really didnt... and im really sorry for that... cuz i see now that your an amazing friend. and that i shouldnt judge people. im soo sorry i love you with all my heart, please forgive me..

AS Always

<3 Lotsa Love,

Yours Always,

Peace Love And Erica.

=)